Five Common Types of Democrats

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Five Common Types of Democrats
An identification guide

Justin Hartfield

1. The College Student

In college, previously disinterested students are inundated with leftist rhetoric from college professors who seem to have all the world perspective the students themselves lack. College students are further blessed with lots of free time, time which they can now use to save Nelson Mandela via a cardboard protest on a busy campus intersection. (Or did they save him already? Oh well, we can just change the signs to read "IMPEACH BUSH." Great idea, Tad!) It makes sense that such idealistic young people would gravitate toward the Dems. They see the Republican Party as about holding onto past ideals and conserving, and the Democrats as the forward-thinking alternative. To many young adults, new always trumps old. Since they have little or no previous convictions to hold on to, these students often are swayed toward new ideas which seem to them novel or even brilliant at first glance. That's why it is with no bit of irony that Kucinich once said, "I hold in my heart that rebellious spirit of youth that demands change."

2. The social liberal but economic moderate

The classic liberal, as it was originally defined and is currently found all throughout Europe, is extremely different from the breed of liberal found in the US. Classic liberals support the free market. Usually these people would vote Republican (due to their pro-market positions), but many are so revolted by the Christian Right's domination of the party that they feel compelled to support the Dems. This is often the case when the voter regards social issues as more significant than economic because he or she is already wealthy. For example, Steve Jobs is regarded as a liberal, yet he is a passionate defender of the free market. It is his social positions that resemble those of the Democrats.

3. The socialist

This voter believes in the corrupting power of Capitalism and supports the Democrats on social issues. However, his economic policies often stray left of the traditional party line. Dennis Kucinich and his cohorts are examples of Democratic Socialists. They generally believe in immediate withdrawal from NAFTA, preventing any privatization of social security, and creating single-payer universal health insurance. They are also extremely liberal on social issues and support same-sex marriages. They are so far left that even Hillary Clinton would blush at their latent, unrepentant communism.

4. The minority

Minorities are essentially born into the Democratic Party. Many are raised to believe that programs like Affirmative Action give them the boost they need to be competitive in America. Their leaders (e.g. Rev. Jesse Jackson) have hoodwinked them into believing that they need handouts in order to contend with their white counterparts. The tendency for minorities to be affiliated with the Democrats is so widespread that those not registered as Democrats are often scorned and ridiculed by their peers. Larry Elder, the black champion of libertarianism, is often called an "Uncle Tom" or "anti-black" by his detractors. Instead of asking Mr. Elder how he got to where he is today, they criticize him for not toeing the party line.

5. The victicrat

A victicrat* is someone who views his government as a form of protection against the evils the rest of us call life. They look for handouts before helping themselves. To be clear, victocrats are not necessarily found in the welfare line. They are often affluent heirs who blame illegal immigration for taking their jobs, or minorities "accepting" their lot in the US because of their skin color. Not only do they refuse to market their differences, they use it (them) as an excuse for their lack of effort. Like Dr. Dre has said, breaking out of the "slave mentality" is crucial to succeeding in business.

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