18 February 2008
A Place for Naive and Narcissistic Children of Western Capitalism
Christopher R. Lenz
So what is this ironic example of our greatness, you ask? Well, look no farther than the cultural phenomenon known as MySpace.
I’m not going to bother explaining to you what MySpace is, other than that MySpace is a place for friends, stalkers, and bands that will generally never amount to anything. It is also a Mecca for teenage angst, and a tool for youth to express their not-quite-so-unique individuality. So how did I come to acquire such a comprehensive knowledge of so many teenage web pages on the Internet? No, I’m not a child molester. But I do use MySpace as a promotional tool, and for that reason I have become well acquainted with the inner workings of the teenage mind. In the span of 15 seconds of visiting a profile of a new friend, I’ll have found out your name, browsed the headlines of your blog, and have generally acquired an idea of what you’re all about, before I send you a message pretending that I actually care about your life. And this is all so I can get you to visit my page, so that I may then benefit from your insecurity and vanity.