The Politician's Guide to Intelligent Policy
Better than a lobbyist's advice

Dear prospective congressman or incumbent representative having poll troubles,

If you are reading this, it is because your campaign sorely lacks good policy ideas, and the public and/or your constituency is starting to take notice. Even your political opponent is likely noticing, but the fact that he has no good ideas himself is no solace for you. (Perhaps your television ads tarring him as a terrorist sympathizer aren't quite working out as planned.) So you are coming to PI for the advice to actually win over the public with a brilliant and fresh campaign platform.

Good news, squire, you came to the right place. More good news: because we know you don't read any of the long, boring, and excessively factual studies in which most think tanks give you their Good Ideas, we'll Keep it Simple, Stupid. Toss these gems in your campaign ads and/or stump speeches, and watch your support grow like herb stalk. (We don't expect money for this consulting service, although an ambassadorship or something when you end up winning the presidency would be nice.) Thank you, kind sir or madam, and God Bless America.

-Your friends at the Prometheus Institute

Idea 1: Pigouvian Carbon Tax on Emissions

Stump speech/Campaign Ad proposal: "In recognition of the potential harm caused by global warming, as well as the dependence of the American economy and way of life on commerce and industry (read: pollution), I propose a carbon tax on all greenhouse emissions. This tax will discourage pollution and slow global warming, but without unnecessarily harming economic growth. It will also make sure citizens and companies alike pay their Fair Share for the harm to our precious ecosystem they cause."

Answering your conservative critic: "My opponent wants to ignore the science that humans contribute to global warming, just like followers of Copernicus ignored the fact that the sun was at the center of the solar system. But have faith in science, just like Galileo did. Look where it got him."

Answering your liberal critic: "My opponent wants to "cap" emissions for certain companies. But that's a half-assed solution. Corporations are not the only polluters in the world - I want to punish your neighbor with the gas-guzzling V12 Excursion, AND your local private jet-setting celebrity, too." (Pause for standing ovation)

Idea 2: Unilateral Free Trade Legislation

Stump speech/Campaign Ad proposal: "Globalization lowers the cost of goods for the American family. It has cut the cost of food relative to income by two-thirds since 1957, giving us all more spending power. In recognition of these and other fantastic benefits of free trade - lowering prices on basic goods, increasing market choices for American families while also creating economic growth abroad - I propose Congress unilaterally drop its protectionist tariffs and other barriers to free trade. Globalization is the movement of the twenty-first century, and I believe America should rise to the challenge and be a leader in it."

Answering your liberal critic: "My opponent simply does not know how the world works. Sancho in Nicaragua thinks the Nike factory is the best thing he or his family could ever hope for, and I'm not going to take that from him. It's incredibly demeaning to impose rich world standards on poor countries whose entire competitive advantage is low-cost goods and services. Free trade brings dollars to the third world, plain and simple. Back home, we pay less on basic goods and popular goods. As for job loss at home, we need innovation, services and technology, not rice farmers and factory workers. International trade can even help make America safer. I dare my opponent to show me a example in the past century of trading partners who went to war with each other. Economic ties certainly don't guarantee peace, but they definitely create a shared incentive for both countries to preserve it."

Answering your conservative critic: "My opponent seems to support the general idea of free trade, but he is unwilling to act upon his convictions. He wants global trade deals. He wants to wait until other countries, such as France, feel inclined to lower their despicable tariffs. Personally, I could give a crap about what the French feel like doing. America should be leading, so we should lead in free trade as well."

Idea 3: School Vouchers (and other education assistance)

Stump speech/Campaign Ad proposal: "American universities are the envy of the world. Our schools dominate all global rankings of universities in research prowess and academic quality. What's more, a staggeringly diverse smorgasbord of options faces every young American, allowing him or her to find a school nearly perfectly suited to his or her interests. Even more, state-funded institutions compete effectively with private ones. These incredible opportunities should be expanded with increased Pell Grant and other financial assistance. But more importantly, the incredibly successful model of American higher education should be applied to America's K-12 institutions. American families should have a choice of where they send their children - and they should be afforded the ability to pay for it. School vouchers should ensure that all children can experience a quality education. Education is the single greatest determinant of one's future success, and maximizing its quality and availability should be our first priority."

Answering your liberal critic: "My opponent seems to think public schools that fail to deliver an adequate education should be the only mandated choice for America's families, and that parents who can't afford it should have no ability to opt-out of this educational slavery. His short-sighted reasoning is refuted very strongly by the record of American universities. There, students of lesser means have expanding opportunities and options to matriculate at the finest institutions in the world. I say that we should allow competition and financial assistance to give our younger children the same quality education we offer to our young adults. Think about the children!"

Answering your conservative critic: "Good day, brother, I see you are complimenting me on my Milton Friedman-inspired campaign platform. Thank you, and be sure to tell your friends to vote for me."

Idea 4: Market-based immigration reform

Stump speech/Campaign Ad proposal: "Immigration is a complicated issue, but my proposal solves everything. The immigration system should be reformed so that all those who enter the United States are required to have a legitimate offer of employment from an American employer, and all those who have one should have entry expedited. The borders should be secured, no question, amigo. Because my proposal grants entry to all willing and needed workers, the only people left wading the Rio Grande will be criminals, prospective dolees and other unmentionables. We should expend massive resources guarding our borders against all that riff raff, including the potential lurking terrorist. But I also understand that there's a social aspect to immigration. With my proposal, communities - states, counties or cities - can just tax employment of immigrants if they want to discourage new immigrants, or create tax incentives for employing them if they want more."

Answering your liberal critic: "By not stressing security, my opponent risks massive hordes of Arabs, dynamite strapped to their chests, chanting Islamic prayers, storming across the West Texas border and committing mass murder of American schoolchildren. Unlike him, I want to prevent this type of thing."

Answering your conservative critic: "My opponent seeks to stop immigration out of social fear. But besides the sputtering hypocrisy of his position (assuming your opponent is of Italian, German, Irish, or any other American immgrant ancestry), immigration has real positive benefits for all Americans. My proposal happens to preserve all of them, while eliminating all of immigration's flaws. Those who come to just sit around on welfare can't get in."

Idea 5: The Negative Income Tax

Stump speech/Campaign Ad proposal: "I propose we replace all current welfare programs with a single subsidy - a negative income tax, if you will, paid through the tax system to poor Americans. The basic subsidy should be set by Congress to preserve the incentive to obtain work while still providing a basic income for those who can't. As income rises, the subsidy should be reduced, but we should also make sure it provides support for working class families who need it."

Answering your liberal critic: "My opponent wants to demean the poor, resigning them to complicated welfare, humiliating food stamps, and substandard public housing. I believe we can do better for the less-fortunate. I believe we should respect the poor, and guarantee them a basic stipend that they may spend on what they need, instead of bestowing upon them a grab-bag of inefficient programs." (Note: Proposal has best effect if dropped during town hall Christmas speech in front of Salvation Army truck.)

Answering your conservative critic: "Good day, brother, I see you are checking out my Milton Friedman-inspired campaign platform. I'm flattered. Thank you, and be sure to tell your friends to vote for me."

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written by ......., May 07, 2008

There are no comments because unfortunatly no one F****** cares about politics....

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written by Rand Getlin, May 13, 2008

Agreed. That is why we exist - To get people engaged again. Not that we can do it alone, but we certainly want to play our part. Do you have any friends who care about politics? Do you agree with any of our work? If so, why don't you take it upon yourself to enlighten your friends. Trust me, you will meet resistance, but people do care, they just feel like there is nothing they can do about it. Please share this work, and any political work from anywhere, that you find interesting with your friends. Even if they give you a hard time for it. It's the least we can all do.

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